Feeling Inadequate

MONDAY, AUG. 17, 1981, 5:40 AM
FARM, STUDY

You are having some interesting and somewhat troublesome feelings in regard to yourself and, particularly, to this that We do together, o son. The feelings are largely those of inadequacy, so let us talk about them ere they get worse. You could have resisted coming this day, but you didn’t. Good. So let Us consider feelings of inadequacy.

We’ll begin at bed rock. You are a son of Mine who has heard the call I have sent. You have no trouble with life and death. You know that life is a continuous experience… what you shall lose in one realm will be matched by gains in another. Yet you have a sense that you will have more years of life in the earth, and this is probably so. Some people, then, have real problems with life and death and Me. Not you.

But you do have some feelings of uneasiness about this knowledge you have and about how people view you when they hear about “you” and “this”. Keep the rhythm one you can live with somewhat comfortably. Don’t step forth farther and faster than you should, given what you know about yourself… yet you will be less happy and satisfied if you hang back and resist opportunities. Comfort is going to be relative. You’ll just have more acknowledging Me and My ways than you will trying to hang back.

You know you are no genius and that you’re not really much of an academician and scholar, given what you know about excellence in these domains. I am perfectly aware of your inadequacies and, still, I have selected you. What do you say to that? Did I make a mistake? Unlikely. You are just the entity I want for this unfolding task on this tiny sub-stage of history. This is a chance for you to grow spiritually in ways unimaginable. Don’t miss the chance because you feel inadequate. I affirm again that you are just right for what you are doing.

I admit to you that I often load you with opportunities galore, and it seems, to you, that you are inadequate to their accomplishment. Review the feelings that you typically have as you reread past teachings. On the one hand you are struck with how slow and inadequate you are in accomplishing what I assign or suggest. But on the other, and the more important, you see that you have accomplished a great deal in Our time together. You are a productive person. I couldn’t have elected you, for this task, if you had been less. (Understand that through grace I accept you just as you are, however inadequate, and require only that you acknowledge Me. This election includes grace, but goes beyond it to a task I have for you. You have been aware of this for years.)

So keep your focus on what you are accomplishing and give relatively little consideration to the things you are not doing. Reassess from time to time, but I urge you not to examine your “lists” too often. Move ahead with what you have elected to do, and do it, with joy and confidence. When you reach true enlightenment you shall realize fully the silliness in worrying about priorities, time tables, “lists”… You shall see unlimited time and unlimited opportunities, each of which is the most important in the universe… so if you are doing that there is no reason to feel guilty about all the others. Through no effort could you be doing all that you could do… so relax and do each task well.

Remember that you serve Me in whatever you are doing, as long as your spirit is turned toward Me. And yours ever is. There is nothing you do that you don’t offer to Me. And I appreciate that. Keep that stance… and believe it.

You feel particularly inadequate in relation to your role as a father… and most particularly that of Matthew’s father. The more you dwell on your inadequacies, some real and some not, the more inadequate you will be. Do what you can, when you can, as often as you can, and leave the rest to Me. Matthew is not a little boy. His is a spirit with considerable experience in the earth. He is “goofing off” spiritually right now, but that is not your fault. Give him space, but also share ideas and convictions with him. It is never too late. He is important, but he must not be your everpresent concern.

Lenore’s concerns are understandable, but they often are excessive in relation to you. She should not stop her concerns, but you need to sort them out more decidedly, accepting some, but not others. You both must be aware when her persistence is making you feel inadequate. You shall not accomplish well when you harbor this feeling. You both must know this.

Your papers are long overdue… but they shall be produced and the slight delay shall be ultimately insignificant. Balance off this morning time with other activities, but heed My call with some regularity. I have much to teach you, and you are quite an adequate learner. You don’t truly realize how much you have learned from these teachings in just over two years. In university terms you are just getting into your undergraduate major. Feel pleased with and proud of what you have accomplished, and then know that there is much more to come.

Your feelings are yours and real. Face them and realize they are largely unwarranted. I have reason to feel inadequate, but I never do. Nor should you.

Shalom, o son.
6:53 AM